My dear child:
For most of my life, happiness was a number I hadn't reached yet.
I chased it the way most do. A bigger number, then an even bigger one. Each time I got there, the feeling I expected wasn't there. It had moved further up the road. I only understood why by accident, the year I cleared a struggling friend's debt and told no one. That feeling didn't fade in a week the way a new car does. It's with me still.
Years later I read that a psychologist named Elizabeth Dunn and her colleagues had measured this very thing. They gave people money and watched what happened. The ones who spent it on someone else came away HAPPIER than the ones who spent it on themselves. The amount didn’t really matter. The direction did.
Money does the most for you the moment it leaves your hand. Held tightly in your fist, it keeps you safe, sure. But given from an open one, it buys the feeling you were chasing at every number.
I'm a broken record on telling you to build the pile. This one is about why. The pile was never the point. The open hand at the end of it is.
So this week, add to the pile as always. Then spend a little on someone who'll never know it was you.
Remember this: You can't hoard your way to a full life. You can only give your way there.
One thing I'd tell my younger self: The money I gave away is the only money I never regretted.
From the bookshelf: "Happy Money" by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton. The researchers from this letter, on spending itself as a skill worth learning.
A question to sit with: What's the last money you spent that you still think about? Hit reply and tell me. I read every one.
Yours sincerely,
